


I'm Not that Elf

by Mistress_Hatter (Midnight_Raine)



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 17:24:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4357862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnight_Raine/pseuds/Mistress_Hatter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Musings of both Elf and Human about secret feelings never conveyed out loud.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not that Elf

                The road to Helm’s Deep proved to be tougher than anything that Agarorn or Legolas had faced so far in their journey with the Fellowship. It was there that their beliefs were tried. It came in the form of the ambush from a pack of wargs. In the heat of battle, Aragorn was carried off the cliff by one of the beasts, to the total obliviousness of his companions. On his part, Legolas had never felt despair until the time King Theoden uttered the words that fell like a hammer on his heart.

 

                                “Leave the dead.”

 

                Even the faint hope that he and Gimli had, faded like the mist when the company left the plains behind. The Evenstar he had kept after the incident as it is the only relic he had of the ranger, of his friend. It did not matter to him that it was from the lady Aragorn loves, right now that is the only physical link that ties him to Aragorn and he’s fine with it.

~~~

                As he slowly regains consciousness, Aragorn had the vision of the Lady Arwen, looking after him, saving him from imminent death. He felt the soft lips touch his and he kissed her back in return. Even though deep in his heart, he wished for another elf to appear and save him. But he knew that it was impossible, that other elf is far too high out of his reach as he was sure that to that particular elf, he’s nothing more than a childhood friend, a comrade, a warrior. He staggered to his feet with the help of Brego and together they journeyed to Helm’s Deep. His whole body hurt but not as much as how his heart felt. Then, he suddenly clutched his chest, as he was not able to contain the feeling of despair. It was then that he found out:

                                ‘The Evenstar, it’s gone.’ He thought, and his heart suddenly leapt for joy.

 

                He gathered that the necklace must have been washed away by the current when he fell, or got caught in the rocks somewhere, but it’s now gone and he took it as a sign. He thought that with Arwen leaving Middle Earth to sail to the Undying Lands, he felt that he’s now free. And so he rode onwards, with strength renewed and spirits high, that was until he saw the host of Isengard on the march. A cold wave washed over him as he realized the danger of battle. He had almost died today, who can say if he can live past the battle. And so in mind he had decided one thing:

                                ‘When I get back, I’ll tell him what I feel’

~~~

                                “He’s alive!” came the excited chatter throughout the stone walls of Helms’ Deep as people gathered to see the return of Aragorn.

                                “Come on lad, let’s go and kill that human!” Gimli had called to him as they crossed path on the way to the gate. He just smiled and let the dwarf go ahead because in truth, he still doesn’t know what to do.

 

                And so he waited in one of the passageways knowing Aragorn will go that way in order to go to King Theoden. He stood anxious until at last he saw Aragorn. The man was busy fixing his tunic that he did not notice the elf prince blocking the way. Legolas would’ve laughed when Aragorn nearly bumped into him.

~~~

                At last, Aragorn arrived to the fortress. People were suddenly all over him, gushing and amazed at his arrival. Complete with his disheveled look, people almost took him as a hero, a war martyr but he was quick to dismiss them. Even Gimli, who had embraced him he barely took notice, all his attention were in finding one person. In front of the people in Helm’s Deep, the said person is supposed to be Theoden King, but in truth, he was searching for another.

 

                                ‘Where are you, Legolas?’

 

                As he passed the halls, he realized how shabby he looked and thus tried to at least make him look less like a street urchin in front of the magnificent woodland elf prince for he knew Legolas would make fun of his state when he sees him. He had been busy with his clothing that he did not notice that the very elf he was looking for was already standing there, waiting for him. In fact, he almost ran into him.

~~~

                                “You’re late.” Came the prince’s welcome greeting. Aragorn looked at him, puzzled

                                “You look terrible.” Legolas continued after giving Aragorn a quick look.

                                ‘I knew it.’ He thought then he laughed, the prince laughed as well.

 

                The Legolas raised his hand and offered it to Aragorn. In his heart, the exiled king knew the time had come, and everything seemed to be going as plan. But in the mind of the woodland prince, the meeting was a bittersweet one, especially when he holds in his hand the Evenstar.

 

_Hand touch, eyes meet,_

_Sudden silence, sudden heat_

                Aragorn took Legolas’ hand, his fingers gently closing over the prince’s while his eyes gazed at him. Legolas became lost in the man’s gaze, that he almost forgot that he was just about to return the necklace to Aragorn.

 

_Hearts leap in a giddy whirl,_

_He could be that boy_

                The world seemed to slow down for the both of them, Aragorn was oblivious to the cold material that is the necklace but was wholly aware of the heat of the prince’s hand while Legolas did not want to let go. In truth, no one wanted to let go…

 

_But I’m not that girl_

                The magic lasted only for a second for Legolas suddenly withdrew his hand. It was then that Aragorn felt the weight in his palm and he opened it and saw the Evenstar.

 

_Don’t dream too far_

                He then turned his gaze upon the elf and all of his hopes disappeared for the elf was smiling at him. Of course Legolas had thought that he would be happy to know that the Evenstar is safe. After all, it was the symbol of the love between him and Arwen. Of course, he should be happy, but no, that smile just confirmed his greatest fear, that his love for the elf is unrequited.

                                “Hanon lle.” He said, and yet his voice lacked enthusiasm and he did not smile back.

 

_Don’t lose sight of who you are_

                                “Hannon lle.” Aragon bowed his head slightly and he did the same.

 

                There, he had given back the Evenstar. Now the most painful task in his life was done. When Aragorn looked up to him after he had returned the necklace, he mentally ordered himself to smile. To show his support for the lovers. Well, he did manage to smile, but his feelings got the better of him that the smile dropped a heartbeat after.

_Don’t remember that rush of joy_

                                “Aragron, Legolas!” Gimli had found them, and they all decided to head to the King together.

 

                Aragorn gave one last tired smile, and Legolas smiled back encouragingly and they all marched down the hall. A great war is coming and they cannot afford to wallow in their own sadness.

_He could be that boy_

                And yet a part of them will always be with the other because if they are indeed going into war, then there is a chance that one or both of them might not survive.

 

                                “You’re n use to us half alive!” legolas protested but Aragorn went on planning.

 

                The prince was worried for the human but irritated at Aragorn’s stubbornness. Meanwhile, Aragorn was busy making preparations and… Eowyn then walked up to him, disrupting his thoughts.

 

_I’m not that girl_

                                “You do not command the others to stay!” Eowyn retorted. Aragorn doubled back.

 

                Legolas and Gimli respectfully stood back, but the elf could hear every word in their conversation. He had known that Eowyn have feelings for his friend, and he was amazed at her courage to stand up to him and show him, in her own way of course, how she felt. It was something he could not ever do.

                                “They fight beside you because they would not be parted from you.” Aragorn stared at Eowyn, thinking about how to discourage the Lady from taking part in the upcoming war.

 

_Every so often we long to steal to the land of what might have been_

 

                                “Because they love you.”

 

                But her next words silenced even his thoughts. And he looked down, thinking about those words, of how he wished it was true, that it was indeed the reason why a certain elf prince stayed. Eowyn had walked away.

 

_But that doesn’t soften the ache we feel when reality sets back in_

 

                Aragorn turned around and he saw Legolas standing there, and he thought of those words again and before he knew it, his eyes had strayed over where the elf was standing. But it was only for a moment, as his senses came back to him and he willed his eyes to follow the path the Lady Eowyn tread.

_Bright smile, lithe limb,_

                Aragorn still remembers how Legolas described her to him when he was a child in Rivendell. Of how the elf prince would look up to the night sky and his lips would curl into a wistful smile.

_She who’s winsome, she wins him_

_Gold hair and a gentle curl_

 

                Legolas always mentioned her. Of how they had grown up together, of their adventures. And even in his young mind he had known…

That’s the girl he chose, and heaven knows…

                And then he remembered Eowyn’s words, and wished it was true, but then…

 

_I’m not that girl_

 

~~~

                At long last, the battle for  Middle Earth was won, and finally Aragorn ascends to the throne. People from far and wide came to Minas Tirith to celebrate his coronation, but among all those people, he only wished to see one.

 

~Flashback~

                                “I need to go back to my father.” Legolas said one day, as he prepared to ride back to Mirkwood. Aragorn looked disappointed.

                                “But I will be back for your coronation.” The elf prince smiled.

~End of Flashback~

                But now, as far as he knows there is no trace of the prince’s presence anywhere. He had asked Gimli if he had seen Legolas but the dwarf shook his head. He had seen Faramir and Eowyn, the happy couple smiled at him, and he feels more than glad about the romance that blossomed between the two. And a part of him wished the same happiness for himself. Eomer then walked from behind the Rohirrim and bowed to him. Like him, Eomer had also ascended as King, and they both share the same uncertainties about their new office, and that made them much closer friends. He started walking again, his gaze slowly returning to the courtyard’s walkway. It was then that he saw him…

_Don’t wish, don’t start,_

 

                Legolas walked slowly towards him, the light of the sun giving shining down the elf’s blonde hair, making it glitter and give him an ethereal halo. Blossoms from the white tree flew between them, like a curtain swaying with the wind and falling like a carpet beneath their feet. It felt like a dream, the sweetest, most beautiful dream he had ever had. He placed a hand on the prince’s shoulder, but if he was going to be true to his heart, he would’ve wrapped his arms around Legolas, run his hand through golden locks and draw him close for a kiss. But not now, not in front of a number of people who might not understand. And most of all, Legolas might not feel the same way.

 

                                “Hannon lle” he said softly, his tone low, but his eyes betrayed all the emotion pent up inside him. Legolas smiled. It took all of Aragorn’s strength not to lose his composure.

 

                But what if he told him now? In front of everyone? His eyes never left the beautiful elf’s face. Legolas smiled at him, and he was on the brink of letting out his feelings when…

_Wishing only wounds the heart_

                Legolas smiled and looked to his side. Aragorn was puzzled, but followed where his friend directed him, his hand never left its place on legolas’ shoulder. He was afraid the elf might vanish for eternity if he let go, he feared he would lose his love for good.

                And perhaps he’s right

~~~

_I wasn’t born for the rose and pearl_

                Legolas respectfully took a sideward step the moment he knew Aragorn saw Arwen. At first puzzlement registered on the man’s face, then surprise. He slowly walked back, out of the picture, to make way for Fate. There was silence all around as the king approached the beautiful elf maiden bearing a standard.

                                “Thank you.” Aragorn had told him and his heart leapt in joy for that, but now his heart was slowly crumbling inside his chest.

_There’s a girl I know,_

                He wanted to look away, and yet he had to watch. Watch as his friend, the love of his life become the happiest man in Middle Earth. He watched as Aragorn embraced Arwen and kissed her. That was when the crowd burst in an applause and loud yells, than the moment his heart shattered.

_He loves her so_

 

                Aragorn took Arwen’s hand and together they walked. His mind  resigned to his fate as the ruler of men. This is how it was supposed to be. He tried to look for Legolas once again, tried to see what his friend’s reaction was. Would he be happy? Sad? Aragorn laughed in his mind. There was no way the elf will be sad about this union. Legolas had been supportive of him and Arwen. The elf thought that the daughter of Elrond had captured the man’s heart. If he only knew…

 

~~~

                                “And where are you planning to go, Master Dwarf?” Aragorn grinned as he saw Gimli slip out of the party in the palace and to the stables.

                                “Uh…” the dwarf began, looking uncertain. The man raised an eyebrow and the dwarf sighed.

                                “I meant to say goodbye but you were too busy. I am to go to the Blue Mountains…” he said slowly, looking up to Aragorn as if checking to see his reaction.

                                “To do what?” the man asked. Gimli shifted his weight from one foot to another, thinking of how to answer the man. He groaned and decided to go with the truth.

                                “The elf is to go lead some of his kin to Ithilien and he…” again a stop. Aragorn raised an eyebrow.

                                “he asked me to bring Tauriel to Ithilien.” Gimli blurted the words with a hint of helpless disappointment which, at that time Aragorn did not understand.

                                “I’m sorry Aragorn. We meant to say goodbye but you were busy.”

 

                Aragorn looked around and there was Legolas, standing behind him, wearing the same garments her wore during their travel with the fellowship. Legolas smiled at him and he smiled back. Gimli muttered something and excused himself.

 

                                “Must you leave now?” he asked. The elf nodded.

                                “If I want the preparation and journey to be swift, it must be done in haste. The kingdom of Gondor will be much better if the beauty of Ithilien comes back.

 

                This time, Aragorn was not able to restrain himself, he pulled the elf close to him, arms around the slender figure. Legolas squirmed uncomfortably, but no further resistance ensued. They were alone in the stable, save from the horses of course. They were safe from prying eyes and wagging tongues. Legolas finally raised his arms and returned the embrace, this made Aragorn’s grip even tighter.

                                “Aragorn…” Legolas whispered uncertainly. The man reluctantly let him go.

                                “I’m happy for you.” Legolas said softly, though in his heart, he knew it wasn’t true. Aragorn smiled, hiding the hurt in his heart.

                                “Bring Tauriel here, we will be glad to meet her.” It was the prince’s turn to smile.

                                “I will.”

 

                Aragorn bowed and then slowly made his way out of the stable. Their fates have been decided that day, also the choice for their heart. They may be victorious during the war of middle earth, but in the war of love…

_I’m not that girl_

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when I binge watch LotR and BotFA after listening to the cast recording for Wicked.
> 
> Thanks for taking time to read this craziness.


End file.
